I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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