Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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