I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize