Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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