he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize