someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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