No, you can still breathe under the balls.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
