she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
