Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
