I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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