When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
