it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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