Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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