you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
