I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
