Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
