The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
