It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
