That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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