we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
