her vagine was all disorganized.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well you can't waste a boner
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
