i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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