PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
