I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize