Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize