i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
