just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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