and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize