So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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