addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize