And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
