You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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