he wants to bone in the snuggie
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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