So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize