You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
