we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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