i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
