chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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