I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
