Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize