Porn is love you can see.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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