Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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