Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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