if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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