hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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