I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
