It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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