I wanna bring you to show and tell
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize