Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
