omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
