hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
