Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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