Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
