it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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