Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
