Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
