I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
