I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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