i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize