How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
