Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I look excited, but its just a facade.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
