what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
