never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
