Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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