ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
