I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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