Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
