so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
