Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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