his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Vodka?
Forever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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