i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
