thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
