At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
