Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
