If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
