Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think a kid would responsible me up
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
