Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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